Story and painting: 22 February 2020

Acrylic paint on canvas

On Wednesday, February 19, 2020, I had a conversation with Aunty Da.
What are you doing, Aunty Da?
I'm feeding these ants some water.
Why?
I feel bad for them. The weather is so hot, they must be thirsty.
(I was amazed at her kindness. Is it because she’s benevolent?) But if you really feel bad for them, then how come you still eat their eggs?
Well, I still do sometimes, but right now the eggs are out of reach.

I'm confused here. You said you feel bad for them, but you also eat their eggs and larvae. This sounds contradictory. Or can it be that human beings never really give anything without expecting something in return? For example, if I create a painting or an artwork and it doesn't generate any income, will I still continue? If I can't sell any of my works, I'm unhappy. If I can't make a living out of it, I will start to doubt my effort.

This morning, I happened to read a chapter called "The Tower of the Spirit" from the book The Way of Chuang Tzu and felt that it fits this conversation perfectly.

The spirit has an impregnable tower which no danger can disturb as long as the tower is guarded by the invisible protector who acts unconsciously, and whose actions go astray when they become deliberate, reflexive, and intentional.

The unconsciousness and entire sincerity of Tao are disturbed by any effort at self-conscious demonstration. All such demonstrations are lies.

When one displays himself in this ambiguous way, the world outside storms in and imprisons him. He is no longer protected by the sincerity of Tao.

Each new act is a new failure. If his acts are done in public, in broad daylight, he will be punished by men. If they are done in private and in secret, he will be punished by spirits.

Let each one understand the meaning of sincerity and guard against display!

He will be at peace with men and spirits, and will act rightly, unseen, in his own solitude, in the tower of his spirit.

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